September, the Gateway . . .

 . . .To Whatever Comes Next

Sep 1^st, Last Day of Minnesota State Fair 

                                                                  

                                                                                                                                 Sept 2nd 

Okay, a bit of an exaggeration but that’s what it seems like.  

Note:

I am not commenting on the horrific tragedy that occurred at Annunciation Church last month at this time. I simply don't wish to think or talk about these seemingly daily occurrences just now, perhaps later. (And BTW, thoughts and prayers are actually worse than nothing.)

How about something pleasant?

On to September, a truly wonderful month in Minnesota. There's still plenty of time and great weather for golf and enjoying the outdoors (though sadly those two are often mutually exclusive.) 

Yet, at least to me, there is also a sort of melancholy tone to this month: the end of the state fair, kids heading back to school and days becoming shorter than nights. Then, the leaves will turn, drift down, stupid pumpkin-spice latte's appear and . . . I don’t know, it’s just hard not to think about the quickening passage of time in September. 

Which reminds me, and I think most everyone of a certain age, that the passage of time seems to speed up as we get older. (Yet another rotten trick by nature.) I won't bother you with the technical reason why but according to experts it is actually true, it does appear to pass more quickly. Also true is that everyone has their own way of dealing with the passing of time.

Some better than others. 

Here's one way that I think you may recognize.

  

In my archive of ideas for posts I rediscovered this brief article from a dozen years ago. (I save a  lot stuff - my how time flies!) It was an item about the difficulties of facing the ravages of time by someone who, IMHO, is one of the most beautiful humans ever, Julie Christie. (And I admit I have always had a crush on her.)

You know, Lara from Doctor Zhivago with the haunting “Lara’s Theme?”  Age 25 in the movie. At the time of the article she had recently turned 73 and it seems that she was none too pleased about this aging thing.  (Mein Gott im Himmel, that means she is now 85!) 

 

Julie at 68

    

She says, and I quote: “I’m tempted every time I look in the mirror, I know what I look like, then I look in the mirror and think, “I don’t know who that is. You want to get your familiar face back and when you see all the lines around your chin, neck, eyes and mouth, and your bloody arms and everything else. . .” 

I know the feeling, sister!  

 

Some might say that is a shallow or foolish way for her to look at it. But we're not her. She has always been "beautiful" and has always known it. It was who she was. Maybe that’s why this is so difficult for her to accept. But what about the rest of us mere mortals? 

We Neanderthals er, I mean men, certainly can't speak for women. I have heard an old saying that "men dress for women and women dress for . . . other women." (If true that tells you something right there.) In any event, it may be gender or it may be cultural - lord knows our society is much harder on women - but ladies are entitled to whatever view they want.

Now men, on the other hand, definitely seem to think about aging in their own unique way. (When they think about anything at all except sex.)

Tom Selleck 27

Don’t get me wrong, no guy enjoys watching the invading army of time take its toll our powerful bodies and smooth but handsome faces any more than women. (Some people say I had a striking resemblance to Tom's brother, Bobo Selleck.* Well, except for the hairy chest. Okay, and the handsome face but otherwise . . .) 

Tom age 80
(What stupid hair)

Somehow, however, I think our outlook is different. That is, men place less importance on our outward attributes and for two reasons:

(And sure, okay, some people have better genes than others - or more money.)

1) Unlike women, nobody really cares what we look like including ourselves (well, MOST of us.) Alternatively, many of us are delusional and still think we really do look like young Tom (beer belly, hairy ears and all.) Whatever. It’s never really been the defining thing for us as guys (well, most of us) and, 

2) We care more about the inside stuff. Inner beauty or deep important thoughts? LMAO, heaven forbid! I mean health as in aches and pains and other unmentionably bad stuff. If all the parts work AND we're still reasonably healthy AND you’re not a complete Quasimodo - let alone Tom Selleck - then, as a guy, the aging process is being kind to you. Note: if you're a guy and don't agree with this that's okay but you're probably just weird. 

Well, that’s my theory (you're free to laugh now.) 

Julie today
25 or 85, you will always be "Lara" to me.

You will be happy to know that Julie is much more comfortable with herself and age now. (I, on the other hand, will continue to see myself as a handsome, young stud - to hell with reality!) 

Epilogue:

In the intervening years, I now have a daughter who has a PhD in Gerontology i.e. ("older adults.") Great timing, huh?! Anyway, I'm sure she frowns on this sort of shallow thinking about aging and appearance, and rightly so - but it's hard to ignore thousands of years of evolution.

Perhaps the main lesson here, as if you need reminding, is to appreciate getting older because there's only one alternative and it is very bad.

I apologize for the detour so back to our lovely autumn.

Tempus fugit - but there is still plenty left to be excited about fall - and life - so enjoy it!

FORE! (Splash)

Happy autumn!

*I stole this from another late great friend who would often introduce himself this way. (What a card, right?)

Music to pass the time . . .

When You're in love With a Beautiful Woman    Dr Hook

Time of My Life   Bill Medley, Jennifer Warnes

Lara's Theme   Maurice Jarre

Quote Du Jour

"Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream." Khalil Gibran

Resist

Bowling Alone or . . .

. . . You've Got to Have Friends

You had to be careful not to get your necktie stuck in the ball return

 Ah, the Dog Days of summer. These hot (smoke-filled) days are a great time to ponder the mysteries of life. For instance, “How come my spouse (and let’s face it, usually the wife) cranks up the thermostat to 76 on cold winter days but complains that’s too warm on hot summer days?” or “Why is it that the more golf I play the worse I get?”  

Never mind, those are imponderable. Easier perhaps, we could also ponder this: What in the wide world of sports has happened to us. What? Oh no, I don’t mean That, not the present sad state of affairs with our government. No, let’s ponder this instead (sorry, more statistics): a 2024 survey found that only 27% of American men reported having six or more close friends, compared to 55% in 1990. Women, especially younger women, also have fewer close friends - although more than men. Experts call it the “friendship recession.” 

Perhaps even more "interesting," from 2003 to 2022, American adults reduced their average hours of face-to-face socializing by about 30 percent. For unmarried Americans, the decline was even bigger—more than 35 percent. For teenagers, it was more than 45 percent." 

What can we make of this? Bear with me.

My mom and dad didn’t have much money but they had a LOT of friends and they and their friends did lots of things together. They played card games like Rummy, Whist, Pinochle. Most were members of different clubs and fraternal organizations like the Lions, the Moose, the Elk, VFW, American Legion, etc. (mom and dad were Eagles.) And much more as you will see. I think that was true for many people of their generation, maybe even most. As important, their friends crossed social strata too. As a generation they also managed to agree on the big things and generally work together to get things done. 

So, what is going on with us "younger" generations? I’m not sure but I admit I am apparently POTP (part of the problem.) 

I'm on the backside of 70 and fortunate to have a lot more than six good friends yet outside of lunch, cocktails, or golf, I can’t claim the kind of relationships and activities like my parents.  I also seem to be allergic to joining anything - if you don't count 28 years in the air force. I have never even joined a golf league! Again, maybe it’s just me and perhaps I am the outlier but in talking to some friends it seems I am not alone. 

The next question is why have we changed? Please allow me to segue to an explanation.

Irene, Champion bowler, lower right

I have long kidded that I was raised in the gutter. No, seriously, I was. Mom and dad were both bowlers - I mean good bowlers.* My earliest memories are riding in the car from the little burg of Osakis up to the big town of Alexandria where mom and dad were in a bowling league at least a couple nights per week. (Bowling was very big then.) 

Splendid Splinter, upper right

I would often fall asleep in the spectators’ benches and wake up in the back seat of the '56 DeSoto. You know, just rolling around back there like a loose bowling ball. (I don't need no stinking seatbelt!) So what, you may ask, does this have to do with our disappearing very sociable, civic society? 

Segue complete.

In the mid-90’s, Professor Robert Putnam authored a book called “Bowling Alone” in which he called the close-knit social interaction (you know, like bowling) of my parent’s generation, “social capital.” He defined that as "the connections among individuals' social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them."

In other words, it simply gave people a much better understanding of their friends and neighbors - both their virtues and vices. Sort of like a civic lubricant. Which seems to me might be why Americans got along better, cooperated, and got things done. Anyway, he recognized that starting about in the 70’s there was a significant drop in this social capital so he proceeded to do studies. In his research he came up with several possible reasons, among them: more women went into the work force; people moving more; economic and time pressures, and suburbanization. 

It was probably some combination but in the end, he thought that   “. . . the main cause was technology "individualizing" people's leisure time via television and the internet." (I gotta say as an early baby boomer some of my earliest memories are sitting in front of big clunky tv with a dinky B&W screen so there is that.) He suspects that virtual reality helmets would carry this further in the future. (Well, duh.) 

Anyway, I don’t know if Putnam's causes or conclusion are totally correct but clearly something has changed in the way we all relate to each other. 

Oh boy, Captain Kangaroo in B&W!

The metaphor of bowling alone might be whimsical but it's an accurate way of describing this sad phenomenon.

Putnam isn’t the only one who recognized this change. Over 30 years ago a very dear friend, who has sadly left this spinning orb, suggested that we were turning into selfish little tribes worried only about ourselves and our families. A different way to say the same thing, I guess. Smart guy, way ahead of me. (Although I have my own theories that I may someday share.)

So here we are, the mid-2020’s and another generation has apparently learned well from us. We've gone from friendship to a tribalism that has been weaponized by politics, the media and our own loss of faith in the country (deserved or not.) We are the richest generations, living in the (formerly) greatest country in the history of the world . . . and now we have armed, masked gestapo disappearing people in broad daylight. Perhaps even our friends or neighbors.

                    

Seems that we’ve lost a lot more than our bowling partners.

Epilogue: One commenter on this article that ran in the 8/12 Star Tribune suggested that we watch "The Social Dilemma" on Netflix. That person is right. If you haven't seen it it is worth 40 mins of your time.

* I wasn’t a bad bowler myself. While stationed in England for Desert Shield I had some doubters, however, on my crew (actually just one guy who shall remain anonymous.) After an evening of adult beverages, I called his bluff. Off we went to the base bowling alley where, even though somewhat handicapped by alcohol - and not having bowled in 20 years - I proceeded to kick some pilot butt. (And magnanimously let him buy the next round.)

Got to Have Friends     Bette Midler

Thank You for Being a Friend   Andrew Gold

Off to College . . .

 . . . or Not

Bluto - "7 Years of college down the drain - might as well have joined the Peace Corps!"

I am working very hard at writing about things that have nothing to do with our current gloomy civic life but as John Lennon sang, “. . . you know it ain’t easy.” And it ain’t! Anyway, thanks to a couple articles in the Strib I have managed once again to avoid the slippery slope to despondency (mostly) with what is hopefully a vaguely interesting post about education in America. Actually, higher education. 

(And yes, MDL made me promise not to look up stupid words for simple things - Bor-ing!)

In the movie “The Graduate” there is a scene at Benjamin Braddock’s (Dustin Hoffman) college graduation party where one of the guests offers Ben career advice with one word – “plastics.” In the movie this scene has a lot of different meanings besides career, one of which was a metaphorical description of modern (60’s) American life. You know, cheap, ticky tacky, consumer-driven. (Apparently it hasn’t changed much.) Anyway, I have long thought of it more in a literal sense when considering the difficulty in giving such advice to my – or anyone else’s - kids.

Think about it: If you were foolish enough, what advice would you give a young person today going to college or just graduating high school? I know, first, get a job! But seriously, over the years there have been many fields that were offered up: health care, education, finance, technology (who can forget the web design craze?!) And, of course, now STEM fields are the place to be. Add to that the uncertainty of the future impact of AI on a LOT of jobs and it really makes advice about a single field a fool’s errand.

The current unemployment rate for recent college graduates is 5.8% while the overall rate is 4.2%. Yikes! Yet I recently read that there are over 400,000 open manufacturing jobs - and that doesn’t count plumbers, carpenters, etc. in the country. (Sadly, it seems like all the openings for lawyers and financial wizards are always filled.) What's going on here?

One way of looking at it might be that we have too many college graduates. Duh! On the other hand, apparently the economy is producing a lot more jobs that apparently don’t require a 4-year degrees. Same result. Of course, perhaps many college graduates can’t - or won’t - take those kinds of jobs. (I get it, are those the jobs anyone has in mind when you go to college in the first place?)

Another scholar prepping for the day

So how did we get here?

 

Everyone has heard for many years that most modern jobs require some sort of formal training e.g. most manufacturing jobs are highly skilled - but do not require a 4-year degree. Yet for the last 30-40 years our kids have apparently taken their parent’s advice to go to college. I admit I was among them: "Get a 4-year degree; get a white collar job" implying don’t be a laborer (like many of our parents were.) It has apparently worked: In 1970 about 11% of Americans had a bachelor’s degree. Today it’s over triple that - 35% (nearly 40% in Minnesota.) And that doesn’t count 2 year degrees or technical training.

Small comfort but we are not unique in this regard. A lot of countries, large and small, seem to have created a surplus of college graduates who are under-employed or unemployed. 

You go get 'em you philosophers and historians! 
(Data 2022)

The economy has changed - but not the economic law of supply and demand. Perhaps there's a reason that the percentage of people that had degrees stayed at a relatively low level for so long? It sounds elitist but there have always been only so many jobs that required a BA/BS degree - and too many with degrees means the value of the degree goes down. An economics blogger I follow calls it "Elite Overproduction." 

Good news - sort of - apparently the declining national enrollment in colleges is starting to reduce that overproduction. 

Facts - and life - are hard.

A Slight Detour - Plato Calling

As noted above, maybe we do have too many degreed people, maybe not but no matter what, college degrees or college curricula are NOT a waste. In fact, if you have one you're lucky. (Broke perhaps but lucky.)

Liberal arts (it's not really "liberal" or "arts") is basically the educational foundation of western civilization. According to AI, starting in about the 4th century BCE in Greece, liberal arts education "Emphasizes a broad, interdisciplinary approach to learning, encompassing the humanities, social sciences, and natural sciences, rather than focusing on a single vocational skill. It aims to cultivate critical thinking, communication, and problem-solving skills, preparing students for a range of careers and life challenges." (Bolding by me)

It would seem that over the centuries the liberal arts are how the smart folks got us here. I would REALLY hate to see us lose it. 

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure 

I'm just a guy from a small town who was lucky enough to sneak into college when the only thing lower than the cost were the entrance requirements. I can assure you that outside of the value of my major (hot damn - Pol Sci!) I never appreciated the value of those first two years of classes. They simply occupied time (even though I admit I did like a few of them.)

I'm willing to bet, however, that those of you who have a degree of some sort have discovered, as I have, that it is amazing how some of that seemingly pointless information has come in handy later in life. You end up in a job or in conversation with someone you respect and one of the brain cells that sat through a class a long time ago lights up. And you're happy you took good old Philosophy 101, American History or Intro to Music. (In fact, I have come to suspect no one ever really knows how much it's worth until you get older - if even then.) 

My point here is NOT to encourage everyone to get a college degree, it is that hopefully you can simply appreciate and support liberal arts education. 

It's very clear that some current government leaders have a very different idea of how and what some of the finest universities in the world (even as arrogant as some may be) should teach. And not in a good way.

Separate but sadly related. 

A STEM graduate?

On the dark side. The reality is that going to college in America today can put a student into nearly lifelong debt with iffy job prospects and that is dead wrong. In my opinion I think that's thanks to the Education-Industrial Complex – and a predatory lending industry in cahoots with the government - seeing dollar signs and turning education into just another huge profit center. Just like the Military and Healthcare-Industrial Complexes, it’s main goal is apparently to make money (and grow their endowments.) Going into debt $50-100k to get a degree in some esoteric field like Mid-East Pottery Making (not that there’s anything wrong with that) – or political science? – is probably not a wise investment.

Parents are not blameless for this either. Insisting that kids go to outrageously expensive schools that have luxurious dorms and every “nicety” that the kid has at home - all completely unrelated to the value of the degree. I firmly believe that a  4 year liberals arts education at Harvard isn't any better than Univ of Minn – Duluth, The Harvard of the North, and UMD also has connections to much nicer, beer drinking people! (Of course, I might be biased.)

Post-All nighter study session?

Hey, I lived in a 70-year old dorm and then a bunch of beat-up old houses for four years and look how I turned out! (Okay, never mind that.)

                  

Suave Dear Leader tries college life (see, even  had a Latin name already - all I needed was a pipe.)

Hey, maybe we could try to give everyone a two year liberal arts education and then they can go get whatever skill they want? 

Nevermind, we can't even seem to get everyone a decent high school education.

Perhaps in the end this is yet another old man's lament for the direction our country – the world? - has taken. Pining for a time when you could afford to go to college and major in something that you really liked/loved (or had no idea) - and still somehow make a decent living. I think the country was the better for it. But who cares what I think.

So Plastics it is. . .

PS: Sorry about the dated pop culture references but we are all prisoners of our era. As I have noted in earlier posts, however, if you are not familiar with the high brow humor of "Animal House" then you have lived a very sad and lonely life!

PPS: Being endlessly curious I would genuinely like your opinion on this whole issue of college education, liberal arts and jobs and Animal House. Please consider giving me your ideas or feedback on the post; just reply to the email. If I get enough responses I’ll share in a later post.  

PPPS: Only 150 days until the greatest day of the year!

My Old School   Steely Dan  Predictable but necessary

U of Minn-Duluth School Song  Take that, Yale! (That's a very focused young man in the lower right corner - reminds me of a younger me. NOT!)

Our Magical Brigadoon . . .

 Of Dads...and Brief Shining Moments     

Like Brigadoon*, this is our magical moment. Unlike that mythological place, however, we don't have to wait a hundred years for it to return, it occurs every year. That moment is now. This is the peak of summer, those few wonderful days between the (nominally) popular Fathers Day and the 4th of July. This is that point in time here when night is in full retreat, when all of nature's bounty is in bloom and all is right in this northern paradise: Flip flops, tank tops, and sun dresses are di rigueur. 

Allow me to share a short, vaguely interesting back story. Everyone that knows me knows that for many years I have had a weird dislike for the summer solstice - and a love of its winter alter ego. So much so that I couldn't enjoy these marvelous days like I should. Somehow gloom rather than joy would start creeping in on little cat's feet just about now. I know, it seems irrational but I would begin a slide down a long, dark tunnel worrying that minute by minute the days are growing shorter. Slowly at first - to anesthetize us to the upcoming surgery on our soul (a soulectomy?) - then . . . dun dun DUN! it's dark at 4:30 (AM and PM.) Suddenly, as if overnight, we are high stepping through snow and slush, cursing both the darkness and the cold. Inevitably, after this brief teaser of long days and short putts, after this brief respite we would find ourselves heading back to that cold 7 month dystopia we call Minnesota in winter.

I say "had" because I am delighted to say those thoughts were the old Dear Leader, this is the new me (The new old me? The old new me? Whatever.) In the last year I have turned the corner on my unique S.A.D. condition. I am a smarter man, a more compos mentis man - I no longer leap into a paroxysm of anger, anxiety, and despondency as I once did at this time of year! 

(Oh geez, that killjoy Mrs Dear Leader just came in and admonished strongly suggested that I stop using the online dictionary to look up stupid words.) 

As I was so eloquently trying to say, like you, I now have a new appreciation for these special summer days. In fact, every day. It finally dawned on me that I’m on the (far) back side of 70 (I know, I know, I can't believe it either) and whining for half a year in general might not be the best use of whatever time I have remaining on this spinning top. Besides, we have a lot more to worry about now than a little seasonal discomfort. 

Ha, Now I laugh at your cold and snow!

Now, on to the most important thing about these wonderful days. Yes, I'm talking about the final round of the US Open Golf Championship where the best "Gowfer's" duel with their "Mashie's" and "Niblicks" for the trophy.

Just kidding! This Epistle According to Dear Leader is really about the wan dizygotic twin to Mothers Day. 

(Ruh roh, I guess MDL wasn't kidding - she didn’t say I couldn’t use my old hard cover dictionary but okay, I'll just use boring old words from here on out.)

Anyway, those same long-suffering friends also know my feelings about Father’s Day - but forget that for now. Imagine I have changed my view on this as I have with my new love acceptance of winter.

It's Fathers Day and it's time to honor them in a manly way - so to all my fellow dad's out there past, present and future . . . . . .

By manly, of course, I meant a reference to "Blazing Saddles," a movie that is the source of much manly knowledge.(Along with “Caddy Shack,”  “Animal House” and possibly "Young Frankenstein.") If you don’t know every gag from these movies, shame on you! 

So let’s hear it for those unsung heroes who spend their lives kinda on the outskirts of the family doing domestic odd jobs. Moms, of course, teach kids the important things that add up to not being a swine.You know, please/thank you, take your hat off when you eat, no elbows on the table, only throw soft food, etc. We dads, on the other hand, teach sons - and daughters - many other key things for a well-rounded life. 

For example, throwing and catching a ball, shooting a three pointer, proper throwing of your wedge in anger er, I mean, learning the etiquette of golf. Some dads even teach strange things like hockey or camping - or like my dad, bowling and horseshoes. There are other practical things as well like teaching the kids how to ride a bike, parallel parking and, of course, where to take the car to have the oil changed. Don't forget, also how to set the programmable thermostat so that your spouse can't screw around with it (cranking it up in winter and down in summer - very important!) These and a thousand other things we dads do.

Things like whatever this is?

Anyway, it's obvious that we too are important in our own minds unique way so do something special for the old man today. Unlike "some people" dads are easy to please: Take him to Arby's, buy him a car wash, let him watch (or take a nap through) the US Open uninterrupted. Whatever.

Oh, and tell him you love him — the old softy will really like that. And hey . . . don’t forget to savor these precious days of summer.

          Marvelous Marv, the Splendid Splinter

32 years gone and I still miss you a lot, pop

PS - If you are lucky enough to still have your dad around, you don’t need to wait for Brigadoon or this marvelous time of the year to give him a manly . .

    

You can do it anytime 

       .

PPS

No charge for the vocabulary lesson.

Now some music by the recently departed . . .

Hot Fun in the Summertime   Sly and Family Stone

I'm Bugged by My Old Man   Brian Wilson

Almost Like a Song     Ronnie Milsap (Famous song from "Brigadoon")

      *"Brigadoon" Explained (In case this cultural reference escapes certain friends)