June 29, 2016

It’s a cliché but it is the simplest things that give us the greatest pleasure in life. I was thinking about this the other night as I was sitting on our little handcrafted patio (oddly, I'm a far too infrequent visitor there) on a lovely, early summer evening.

It seems that often when I am sent back in time by some memory or other it’s with a little melancholy or sadness at moments lost; watching them disappear in the rear view mirror, never to be seen again. Not on this night! The evening sunlight hits the trees just so (dappling?) and the breeze is rustling through them like the hair on a baby’s head. All this and a martini too - ahhhh. 

But that’s not all.

I think a big part of the overall sense of contentment (or at least not my usual creeping cynicism) that I enjoyed was the background sounds of the neighborhood kids enjoying this same evening the way kids should – but don’t always do anymore.

Did I mention that we have a LOT of young kids on our block? We do. We live within a long drive (golf, not car) of the Twins stadium in downtown Minneapolis and yet we have a dozen kids aged 1 to 15 on our block. And these are not just kids, they are really good kids with great parents. Our young neighbors (everyone is young to me, of course) are doing a terrific job with their kids. They are raising them like . . . kids, not miniature adults; they ride bikes, babysit, play in the sprinkler (and build snow forts in our interminable winters.) In short, the kids are enjoying a childhood like most of us older neighbors (of which I am among the most senior!) enjoyed but is all too uncommon today. Don’t get me wrong, not everything about our childhood was perfect – what is? – but I think most of us would agree that actually HAVING a childhood can’t possibly be a bad thing, can it?

I think I better try to sit out here more often listening to squeals of laughter, arguments over where second base is in my yard and the occasional yelp when someone falls off their bike. I suspect that in the blink of an eye our street will be very quiet as all the kids grow up and go off to find patios of their own. 

Autumn of life blues? Not today, Bunky, get out of here -  or join me on the patio! 

Men, I tell you that we are under siege! It’s not just that women are now running companies, are the majority in college, taking over law schools and creeping up in medical school. No, this is getting REALLY serious - and frightening.

                             Amazons practicing post-male home management skills

There are two separate but related bits of news that I have stumbled upon that I think may have dire consequences for us guys, but you be the judge.

First, from Verve Magazine, scientists have discovered that apparently we guys perform spermicide on our own, you know . . . you know. Apparently somewhere along the line – perhaps after thousands of generations of nagging by wives tired of raising idiot children – our sperm voluntarily kills off some of our DNA so that (get this) the woman’s DNA can have, quote, “a bigger influence.” A bigger influence! My god, they already rule the world, what else could they possibly want?!

Now this does beg the question, however, would mankind be better off if we men had been allowed to share, as it were, our DNA wealth? I mean just looking at our current crop of political leaders it seems some genetic improvement could be possible.

But is that all or good enough? Oh no, not by half!

Elsewhere in the world of females, it seems the lady Cape honeybee has decided they are going to wash that man right out of their hair - permanently. Apparently, once they escape the queen bee they wander off and reproduce on their own with no help from the males. Of course who can you blame them; how attractive are a bunch of drones in the first place? (As an aside, you could have had an idea by visiting any number of military stag bars I once knew, er, ah, heard of.) Anyway, this is the sort of thing, that if it were to spread among people of the female persuasion, might just have a great impact on us guys, don’t you think? Well, on some of you anyway.

On a positive note, if women didn’t need us around anymore I guess we wouldn’t have to kill off any of our own DNA anymore either, right? No, wait . . . hmmm.

Anyway, hope for the best, men, and plan for the worst!

What About Those Brits Pt II

What about those Brits, huh? Yeah, now I mean all those folks that voted to leave the European Union. Given the reaction around the world you would think that WW III has started! Not that I had a real strong opinion one way or the other but I kind of thought they’d vote to stay in if for no other reason than simple inertia; it’s much easier to keep doing what you’ve been doing than it is to change. I guess they were pretty serious about it.

So what does it mean? Damned if I know and people a lot smarter than me don’t know either. Some people think this was a vote for independence and freedom from the tyranny of Big Brother and the EU. Probably something to that. Others put a darker spin on it by emphasizing the anti-immigrant anger and nativism aspect of it and there’s probably truth to that too. Still others point out the similarities of anti-elite and insider anger to that which is going in the US with the Trump and Sanders campaigns. Yup. And there is this: the younger folks – 18-34 - voted overwhelmingly to Remain and the older folks to leave. Sound familiar to the age split in the US? Lot's of moving parts. 

I’m sorry for this but speaking of Trump, the man who would be President did us proud again! Here was a tweet of his:

Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going wild over the vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back. No games!

Apparently he was unaware - or didn't understand - that Scotland voted overwhelmingly to Remain.

And unfortunately for him, the Scottish really know how write insults.

 @realDonaldTrump if we ever needed any more proof that you're a cockwomble of the highest order! Scotland voted to remain!

Yo @realDonaldTrump, Scotland overwhelmingly voted to remain, you tiny-handed, rotting skunk topped, pickled mandarin

          This one REALLY hurts!

@realDonaldTrump we voted to stay by 24 points. wouldn't expect better from a guy whose only view of Scotland, is from a golf course

Okay, enough o’that (as they say in Ireland - which also voted to remain.)

It’s easy to see how people are frustrated with the EU. It’s a VERY poorly constructed organization; it’s run by people who aren’t elected; it’s highly bureaucratic; they have a common currency but no central control of it like the US; also it’s the ultimate nanny state (in that, it resembles how most of the members are individually.) Then there is the refugee problem - and it is a BIG problem. Finally, ironically, the EU looks a lot the US before our smart guys created the Constitution - with our relatively strong central government.

OTOH, the EU, while far from perfect, represents 28 (okay soon to be 27) countries and over 500 million people with free trade and travel among them all. (Do you remember traveling in Europe before the EU? You had to drag out your passport about every 15 min’s moving among all those little shitbird countries!) Big business likes it (which, depending on your point of view, may or may not be a good thing) because there’s generally one set of business rules for all the countries like in the US.

More importantly, there hasn’t been a war (well, a traditional war) in Europe for over 70 years. This is no small thing since those guys had wars about every decade for the previous thousand years! Does the EU have something to do with that? Couldn’t possibly have hurt and should be worth something, right?

Anyway, in the end, no one knows the real reason – if there is one – for why they voted to leave and that’s okay; it was their right and in the big picture probably won’t matter that much anyway.

Let me close by sharing the thoughts of a guy I follow on lots of issues (usually financial) as it relates to democracy and the vote in the UK. Cullen Roche of “Pragmatic Capitalist” (Highly recommended.)

I want to go off topic here today because the recent Brexit vote exposed the extraordinary failure and danger of democracy.  People in the USA often refer to the USA as a “democracy”. But this is wrong. The Founding Fathers were terrified of democracy. They intentionally designed the United States so that it wasn’t a democracy. Referendums such as the Brexit are a glaring example of how dangerous and flawed the idea of democracy can be. And such a system is a large part of why the USA was formed in the first place.

In the Brexit vote, a minority of 36% of the population (52% of 70% voter turnout) have made a monumentally important decision on behalf of the majority via an unchecked process. Make no mistake – this is not democracy working for the people. This is democracy exposing exactly why it’s such a dangerous system.

Kind of in support of Cullen's point, it’s been reported that Google said searches in the UK for “what is the EU?” and “what happens if UK leaves EU?” jumped over 200%. After the polls closed. Yikes, hell of a time to look for THAT information!

You can agree or disagree with Cullen but it’s food for thought when you think about where the US would be today if we had “democracy” like the EU. 

And don't be a cockwomble!

What About Those Brits Pt I

What about those Brits, huh?! No, not the ones that voted to exit the EU; Jimmy Page and Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin. They won a plagiarism suit that was filed against them by a guy (now dead) who said they ripped off his song when they wrote “Stairway to Heaven.” Say it isn’t so, boys! Well, apparently the jury agreed that they didn’t pilfer the melody to the tune.  

You know these kind of cases happen a lot. Johnny Cash lost a case that he plagiarized “Folsum Prison Blues.” Recently the Estate of Marvin Gay won a case against of couple of guys (who I don’t really know.) A really bad loss was when a group called The Verve was found guilty of stealing the Rolling Stones music from “The Last Time” for the Verve’s “Bitter Sweet Symphony.” It was a terrible judgement! Anyway, I guess a song sometimes reminds you of some other song it’s because they are kind of same song!

Well, I think this case had some merit. Just listen to the first couple minutes of each of these songs.

Taurus by Spirit

Stairway to Heaven

Okay, so what do you think? Pretty damn similar aren’t they? Yet the court said they didn’t steal that riff. Robert Plant wasn’t much help in testifying; he said he was a little foggy during that period. I’ll bet. Apparently he couldn’t even remember that they opened some concerts for Spirit in the late 60’s and hung around with them when this was written. I guess it all comes down to how do you prove, that from a finite set of notes and tunes and stuff, someone intentionally copied it? Don’t know but even Mrs. Dear Leader, who is a gifted musician and song writer, came down on the side of the Zeppelinners.  

Why do I bring this up?  Well, mostly because I really liked Spirit and have VERY fond memories of the summer of ‘69 and their song “I Got a Line On You.” (And Stairway to Heaven is overrated.)

I Got Line on You

Oh sweet youth, wasted on the young!

June 23, 2016

And then there was one. . .

 (Sgt. Thatcher on left)

From the Missoulian newspaper:

MISSOULA, Mont. (AP) — One of the last two surviving members of the Doolittle Raiders — who bombed Japan in an attack that stunned that nation and boosted U.S. morale — has died in Montana, his family said. Retired Staff Sgt. David Jonathan Thatcher died Wednesday in a Missoula hospital. He was 94. He suffered a stroke on Sunday, Thatcher's son Jeff told the Missoulian newspaper (http://bit.ly/28V8l2c).
Thatcher's death leaves Retired Lt. Col. Richard "Dick" Cole of Comfort, Texas, as the only living airman from among 80 who took off from an aircraft carrier on 16 B-25 bombers to target factory areas and military installations in Japan on April 18, 1942. Afterward, the planes headed for airfields in mainland China, realizing they would run out of fuel, according to the National Museum of the U.S. Air Force.

The mission lifted American spirits five months after Pearl Harbor was bombed and forced the Japanese to spend resources defending their home islands.

Time is just about done with the “greatest generation,” the WWII and the Korean War guys; it’s starting to gnaw on us Viet Nam guys and before you know it, we’ll be watching all the other intervening wars' lucky participants disappear into the gaping maw that is history. That’s just the way it is.

For now, though, let’s celebrate the lives of the giants who walked before us and have now walked on by.

Doolittle’s Raiders were the epitome of what America stood for in the 20^th century: bold, courageous, determined, self-sacrificing, hard working and humble. Words we simply do not recognize today. They fought a war, won the peace then came home and ran companies, became teachers and even delivered the mail (jobs that are now largely vilified I might add.) They lived with a quiet optimism that was justified by the very lives they led.

It’s not clear to me how we have distanced ourselves from them this far, this fast; today we are selfish, fearful and petty. There are still, of course, many examples of courage and strength to do the right thing today - but almost none by the leaders of the country. And things aren’t looking too good for the future either.

There is a famous quote by Sir Isaac Newton that said, "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” Makes you wonder what we shall see standing on the shoulders of today’s pygmies.

RIP Sgt. Thatcher and thank you for what you did for your country.

June 22, 2016

Well here’s a great way to start a fight with your spouse; just say, “I’m NOT eating arugula. You can’t make me and I won’t do it!” (Hmm, that’s sounds vaguely familiar from my childhood.) Let me explain.

This is our second year of buying into a sort of a home delivery of farmer’s market veggies. You buy a share of farm grown veggies and they are delivered to a house in the neighborhood where everybody goes to pick them up. Every week the box has a little different mix of vegetables. When I peered into this first box I knew I was in trouble, nothing really edible in there like carrots or peas or beans or tomatoes. There was a collection of stuff of various shades of green. Don’t get me wrong, I like green.  . . when it’s on a golf course or in my yard right after winter but I’m just not a fan of many of the green vegetables and especially of the leafy variety.

Which reminds me that I once had a co-pilot with whom I flew all over the world. His self-given nickname was “Golden Hands.” There were times that his hands did indeed act like hunks of metal, gold or not, but that’s for a different story. In any event his motto when it came to food was “If it’s green don’t eat it.”  Now why I have taken the advice of a person who clearly had a lot of personal issues is beside the point but I have never forgotten that and apparently took it to heart.

Back to my story. Sooo we open this box of stuff . . . and it’s confirmed - there’s nothing good to eat in there. Spinach, arugula, kale – yuck!  There were a few really good radishes which I devoured right away. I know what you’re thinking, you epicureans you, what a food swine I am! How can you not like kale and arugula?! Well I’ll tell you why. Because it tastes crappy! If I can put enough 1000 Island dressing on it, I can probably force it down (but that seems like a terrible waste of 1000 Island dressing.) I mean when I was growing up fresh peas were like a delicacy. Green beans from a can, mmmmm. Iceberg lettuce; what a treat!

Before you go all smug on me think about this:

The first time my mom made (or tried to make) Italian spaghetti – basic tomato sauce and pasta, I think - in the early 60’s sometime my dad simply said, what is this and what do I do with it? Good question. Also, I had never heard of pizza until I went to college in the big city of Duluth. Chinese food? Same thing, Chun King in a can anyone! How about you, smart ass?

Don’t get me wrong, though, through my 68 years on this earth I have developed a taste for some of the more modern foods. Like asparagus (sparingly and only with sauce), cauliflower (sparingly only with sauce) and mushrooms (only on pizza.) There are still things, however, that I simply don’t care for and it’s too late to change now. Among them, arugula (and sushi.)     

Luckily, this year, having learned our limit on how many fresh vegetables we can actually eat, we split a share with a neighbor. They don’t know it but they are our saviors! (well MY savior.) And, much to Mrs. Dear Leader’s chagrin, I can pawn off all the crappy green things to them. Ha ha ha! (Oddly, they apparently like that stuff.) Better yet, I get to make them feel bad that we “sacrifice” the green stuff just for their kids. This will work out great – until we start to get REAL vegetables.

And let’s hope that happens soon!  

So I had another letter to the editor published in the Star Tribune today. I seem to get a lot of letters published – but then I send in a lot of letters!

I’d like to think they publish them because my letters are so clear and logical and obviously true that they simply must be shared with the masses. In truth, I suspect that they just appeal to the biases of whoever reviews them and decides to publish - never underestimate the power of bias! I can give you an example of this from this very letter.

My letter was in response to one written by another writer that suggested that maybe we should consider making changes to the Constitution that would reflect the changes and needs of Modern America. The guy went way overboard on specific suggestions (but oddly nothing about texting and driving or too many craft beers!) Nonetheless, I generally agreed that it might be time to address some obvious flaws (obvious to me, that is – first bias.) I won’t go into details about my thoughts here because it’s a separate – and complicated – issue. Maybe later.

Anyway, others also piped up with their thoughts on the issue and that’s good; that’s what a good article should do, spur discussion. One person in particular though offered what I considered a classic example of bias (or at least faulty logic.) He made the comment that if you were for changing the Constitution you were a Democrat and if not, then you’re Republican; the idea being, I suppose, that changing is bad therefore Democrats bad and Republicans are good. I don’t know, that’s what I got from it. Anyway, this dude clearly was not considering the idea on its merits but simply through his political biases.

Here’s what I’m thinking: it may or may not be a good idea to change or update the Constitution but it is NOT a political issue, it’s practical issue. Either we figure out how make our government work or we’re all going down the drain together.

Well, that’s what my biases tell me anyway!  

You know, I have really missed inflicting my sometimes odd and other times infuriating opinions about things on innocent people. I enjoyed writing the View Askew but it was a LOT of work given its, shall we say, ambitious nature. So unlike the original format this version will be a much more modest affair (if there is such a thing. As a modest affair, I mean.) You won't have to read a lot before you can decide to change channels, as it were; you will know know right away that you're disgusted and will read no more!

So, rather than a long, grandiose monthly newsletter covering a bunch of things that I think are interesting, this version will (try to be) a shorter but more frequent quick hit type of thing focused on - hopefully - a single item that others may be as interested in as I am (or not.) My intent is to write something every day and, as with the original, try to approach it from a little different angle. Who knows if and how much I will be successful but we shall journey together - let us not waste time here!

(For those of you who are friends on Facebook I apologize for repeating myself, but this is a pretty damn good place to start - but I shan't do this again!)

Background: I pay great attention to the sun's journey across the sky. I'm not exactly a sun worshiper or anything but I just find it interesting how important the various stages of the sun have have been to societies around the world through the centuries. Especially the solstices. Solstii? Whatever. In any event, I have dedicated more time than is healthy for the last ten years or so to the solstice and especially the winter version because . . . well just because. This year, though, the summer solstice receives my laser like focus because it is so close to one of my favorite things to make fun of, Father's Day! So here goes the first post of the New View Askew. (Hopefully it will get better!)   

Father’s Day and the summer solstice, just a day apart this year. I wonder if there is a hidden message or meaning to this . . . proximity.

Everyone knows that Father’s day is the least important of all the made up holidays. You know what the greeting cards say, right? “Who cares?!” that’s what. For example, you can count on one hand the number of times you see a kid waving and yelling “Hi dad” on tv; it’s always “Hi mom!” And that’s okay, that’s the way it should be; dads are meant to toil in familial obscurity. We can’t compete with a mother’s love so all we can do is try to compete with brute sincerity - and the occasional game of hoops or playing catch. A dad’s love may not make for clever Hallmark cards but that doesn’t make it any less real (just a little less obvious.)

So we get this one day a year to pretend like we are an equal partner in the hearts of our family and what happens? It’s followed by the worst day of the year, the summer solstice! Don’t believe me? Think about this:

Unlike its winter alter ego which signals the beginning of hope, the summer solstice signals the opposite. The beginning of the end of long, sun dappled Minnesota days with blue skies. Of long, perfect drives and short putts. (Okay, forget that first part.) Of short nights with cool breezes by the lake. Of girls in tank tops and men in speedos. (Now forget that last part too.) It signals the beginning of the long slide to the depths of winter. Oh, the humanity!

Now think about this: the solstice is always about this same time every year yet someone in the US invented Father’s day in 1908 and parked it right next to this lugubrious day. Why not August (like Taiwan) or March (like Lichtenstein) when there aren’t any other holidays? Hmmm? Exactly - it’s a test!

One day a year a dad gains a bit of stature as the other adult in the house – and it’s quickly snuffed out by the gloom that comes with the summer solstice. How will I react? Will I snivel and whine about my fate? Will I complain about yet another snub to my male ego? No, damn it, no! This is where I prove to my family that an American dad can accept the abuse the gods heap on me with the calm and dignity that has made me famous at every sporting event of my kids that I ever attended. That my cluelessness to most domestic dramas was just my way of staying neutral. That offering a clumsy hug was my way of kissing to make it better. Well, I love and am loved so that will have to do.

In any event I wish a Happy Father’s Day to all my fellow dads –hang in there, only six months to the winter solstice!

And I still miss you very much, pop.

                                         Marv and Irene foxtrotting

Please feel free to bookmark this site and check in often to see it there is anything you to talk about.

Thanks for reading . . . and try not to be a dope.