Saving the Solstice . . .

 

. . . One Last Time

Dateline. Saturday, Dec. 21st, 3:19AM:  

The Most Wonderful Day of the Year!

20^th Annual Winter Solstice Story

For 19 years I have fought back against this long night with stories and strategies of hope - but I recently vowed that I wasn’t going to do this anymore. That I just didn’t have it in me; that I wouldn’t rip my guts out with the huge effort it required. I was just going to silently sneak out, or as Gen. Douglas MacArthur (sort of) said, "old solstice soldiers never die, they just fade away." But alas, I can't just fade away. I can’t let you, my dear friends, neighbors, acquaintances - and even people who intensely dislike me - face these dark winter nights alone. I will summon the strength one last time to confront the daunting task of fighting off the cruel realities of life in these northern latitudes by weaving a final story around the Winter Solstice. (Also, I wanted to end on an even number.) 

In other news, this will be Mrs Dear Leader and my 12th annual Solstice S'mores party - and almost certainly the last as well. Why that is will soon become clear. 

This should be the 13th annual event but to my memory we missed a year. No, not the covid year - as you will see - but 2022, the only year that was cancelled and embarrassingly it was due to weather. 

It was just a blizzard and to this day I feel bad about it especially since my daughter Michelle had flown in for it on her first ever trip to MN. 

In my defense, I didn't think my NY daughter would get the full Solstice S'more effect with just her and I standing all alone out in a blinding snow storm with a pitiful fire - so I took her to the Minnehaha "Glacier" instead. 

Anyway, it has been many years of great fun and camaraderie and we hope to finish strong this year! But first some background. 

This year, after a rainy early summer, we had one of the nicest summers and falls ever experienced by we long-suffering Minnesotans. Long days and short nights with whispering breezes rustling through our backyard. Idyllic days wasted on the dirty, rotten, expensive, frustrating game of golf. (Uh, sorry, please disregard that last part) now drifting aimlessly into winter. It's time once again, as we do every year, to say . . . “so what?” After a 584-million-mile trip around the sun we arrive back at this same meteorological – and metaphorical – crappy place in time as with every other year. A time of cold so penetrating that it obliterates our soul like a fair and balanced blast from Fox News. A darkness so long and endless that even a nanny state Democrat turns into a snarling, unforgiving animal.  Okay, okay sorry, as you can see I'm in somewhat of a different mood (and with good reason) for what is usually my favorite day of the year.

All that said, it is still the time of the year that has caused a hundred generations of Northern Hemispherians to bring light and laughter into this dreary time. And that has been my quest, lo these many years. 

It is that same primeval urge that brought about the Solstice S'more party. 

Important  prep for the party in full Celtic regalia

In the beginning there were lots of kids, which of course was the point. The neighborhood was crawling with 'em! 

One of these kids is now a high school senior
and the other two freshmen (precocious Rokala imps!)

The early days before fancy fence and accoutrements (you know, like plates and stuff)

Tall young lad on the left is Cody, one of  Mrs Dear                                                                   Leader's first piano students at age 8. Now a college graduate.

Hungry celebrants - and snow

Year with no snow

Our party has been a time to teach the kids the important things for the holidays - like the proper way to open a beer.

Nanook of the North, Msr. Provenzano and his daughter Lili. She sang on Mrs Dear Leader's Christmas song when she was 11.

Now a college graduate (in sneakers -                                                                                                      not a BA in cold weather clothing, I presume)                                                                            Nanook's younger kids are in college now too

Snow

Another daughter, Whitburt, sharing secrets about Dear Leader with neighbors - over cocktails (she's now out of the will.)

Little snow

And yet another daughter, Missy, with her good friend Anne and her "nephew." Sorry, Grant, you're a little too young for beer lessons but just right for S'mores!

                                      

                           

                                                                                                              

Dumpster fire candle, a gift from a neighbor in honor of a crappy year - (I'm assuming not for the solstice party.)

The ever-thoughtful Mrs Dear Leader even made individual packets of S'more ingredients for 2020 celebration (masks not included.)

Instead of offering my usual amusing tale about the solstice itself or confirming that winter will indeed end, I will take a more practical approach and provide advice on how to add some joy to these long months of gloom and frigid boredom.

Up to now, as far as I can tell, there are only two ways to get through our shared misery. First, (and this is one that I subscribe to) is to drink heavily. After all, with darkness coming so early shouldn’t we therefore take advantage of the early happy hour it provides? Everyday? Of course! (Many people I know got very good at this during the covid lockdown.) 

The other major distraction from our pain has been to embrace the cold! Enjoy the outdoors! Go skiing and skating and . . . whatever else weirdos do during the winter. (I leave this option to those of you who are more courageous than smart.) 

Read on for another solution to the winter conundrum.

A great crowd but natives getting restless from lack of s'mores, booze and/or snow.

Year with snow 

 

Neighbors exchange brilliant repartee. Well okay, Mrs Nanook repartee's the heck out of Msr. Edevold over cocktails. (Both their kids were twerps's for first parties, all now flown the coop.) 

Blaser family smiling (the laugh is on them though - they haven't seen their bill yet.)

Now here is that other option to help us when we feel like breaking into tears every time we crank up the furnace or pull on heavy coats or fall on our ass climbing over giant snow banks. It also has the benefit of saving money, time and argument about placement of the star - 

Create your very own Solstice "Tree"! 

I can't take all the credit for this idea. (Okay, I can't take any credit for it - but I did carry the sled up from the garage.) It's a little awkward for presents but it has the extra bonus of not dropping needles, need watering or being a target for small pets. Also, unlike those fake trees (and if you have one, I certainly hope it's not one those stupid flocked ones!) it doesn't need assembly. AND you can leave it up until winter is over - you know, til about mid-June. If you don't have a sled, shirley, you can find some other symbol of our beloved winter to turn into such a magnificent yule sight. An old snow blower perhaps? A shovel with Yak Trax hanging from it? Rockin' around it is optional. (For those too young - or musically impaired - a head nod to a  famous Christmas song from when Dear Leader was 10 yrs old - Rockin' Around the Solstice Tree    Brenda Lee   -  Brenda was 14 then and like me she is still kickin'!)

Warning - gratuitous memory!

Something else from the '50s - Christmas card holder my grandpa made for our family back then. Sadly, we don't send/receive many cards anymore. (More sadly, none of his imagination and craftsmanship was passed down to me.)

Despite odd outfit, no snow

Apparently that year Michael Myers visits our little soiree. For those who have lived in a cave (like a certain friend in Las Vegas) that is another cultural reference, this to the horror movie, "Halloween." Thanks for scaring the kids, Mark.

Perhaps you are beginning to see why I have little left to say about this, my most favorite day of the year. As Thomas Wolf wrote, "You can never go home again" and he was right, you can't. It's the same with this. There is no recapturing a moment in time; there's no going back. Kids grow up, we get old(er) and the world changes. But while we (okay, I) may feel a little melancholy about the constant change and a sense of loss of what was, there is also hope. 

Watching our kids grow up and becoming productive young (or not so young!) adults is not unlike why I love the winter solstice. Just as it reminds us that light and hope always returns, they bring that same hope for the world - with the added benefit they will almost certainly treat it better than we have. 

Besides, some wonderful young parents - and ensuing kids - have moved into the neighborhood just waiting for the next solstice warrior!

Hey . . . 

. . . Sit somniantes somnia*

(Yeah, some Latin for you pagans)

Good news! By the time our happy revelers gather for our festive party on Sat. the earth will have turned that celestial corner and starting its long journey back to the Tropic of Cancer - and our long summer days.

Now, in those immortal words of Porky Pig, "Th, th, that's all folks!" From the hearty souls of the Thomas Avenue Winter Survivor club to you, a hearty happy holidays. (Now let's go inside and warm the hell up!)

And from Mrs Dear Leader - and Me - Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas and have a Great New Year!

The host and hostess (and Princess Prudie) of the premier holiday event of Bryn Mawr

* "Let dreamers dream"

D Roger Pederson, Winter Warrior (Retired)                                                                                (And you'll miss me when I'm gone)

A potpourri of holiday music just for you. . .

Handel's Messiah    Sydney Orchestra and Choir (Possibly the most magnificent oratorio ever written)

Little Drummer Boy    Mannheim Steamroller

Wonderful Christmas Time   Paul McCartney

Little St Nick   Beach Boys

In Dulci Jubilo   James Galway (Listen to as much as you like)

Christmas in Killarney    Bing Crosby

They May Take My Country . . .

 But They Can’t Take My Sense of Humor! (well, yeah, I guess they can)

I've decided I won't vent my disbelief, dismay, disgruntlement and discouragement at the election results. Many of our fellow (sane) citizens are doing a fine job of that. Others can analyze the campaign mistakes and bleating about what could have been. Not me. I really can't think how to express my horror any better than others so I won't. I shall maintain the calm, objective demeanor that I am famous for and press quietly forward.

Well, okay, if you insist, just a few comments. Let me start with this:

Congress welcomes their new Republican Representatives

"I have followed this blond turd for over ten years and loathed his bombastic and idiotic statements (as well as his ridiculous hairstyle) for the same period so I was biased from the start. I thought he’d be out by last fall. I didn’t think he’d have any chance of winning the nomination. Finally, I thought that no matter what the polls said, when people went in to the booth there would be no way any cogent person, no matter how much they hated Hillary, could vote for a misogynistic, racist, sociopath who has no interest in facts or truth. I know, I know, Hillary was deeply unpopular candidate (more on the candidates latter) but she at least seemed sane. In a binary choice I guess I thought people would choose elitist over crazy. Boy, was I wrong!"

I wrote that almost exactly 8 years ago after the 2016 election: God, I hate being wrong. I really hate being wrong twice.

And this year is much worse. There is no sugar coating the election results, they’re bad. Not end of the world bad but at least "I want my mommy" bad.

Here are some interesting – if disturbing - facts about this election.

First, Everyone knew this guy is a lying, cheating crook who is also essentially worthless at any important task - we watched it for four years - and still roughly half the voters in America voted for him. (Technically, only 76 million out of 161 million registered voters - and 330 million people.) My brain hurts.

Second, this was NOT some landslide victory. Despite those claims of “a huge mandate” Trump earned slightly more votes than he did in 2020 (actually less when adjusted for population growth) and only 3 million more than Harris. Of course in a normal country it would have been 150 million for Harris to 10 for Trump - assuming his own family would vote for him. Wait - he couldn't BE the candidate in a normal country! Great sigh.

Third, Harris got about 8 MILLION votes fewer than Biden. (Which is both bad and damn curious.)

Fourth, about 11 million eligible voters inexplicably disappeared. Gone. Kaput. Sayonara.

Fifth, Trump essentially had about a 3 year campaign head start on Harris. Also, most of mainstream media was actually behind him (do you recall anyone calling for his withdrawing due to old age and senility?) and several friendly states’ election laws. Not to mention a population that apparently thought the price of eggs is more important than choosing a non-rapist as president. Still, essentially the same number of people voted for him as last time. (Well except for the many that died from covid and old age.)

Finally, if you’re looking for reasons for this fiasco, aside from any Democrat candidate/campaign shortcomings - which there were - I would start with all those white women, Latinos, black men, and vets who apparently voted for Trump. (Even a few Muslims against Isreal - talk about voting against your own interests!) Unfathomable. But mostly those 11 million (democrat?) slackers who didn’t show up. (And I still think there was something more - I hope - going on other than refusing to vote for a woman of color; just an opinion so don’t confuse me with the My Pillow guy!)

Nominee for National Voting Machine Inspector

In the end this election says a lot more about the voters than it does about the candidates - and not in a good way.

Nonetheless, Trump did win the popular vote – the first Republican in 20 years to do so. (The last being the previous worst president ever, "W".)

As Leo Tolstoy said, “Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.”

Fun facts:

- The last actual landslide was 1984 when St Ronnie Reagan beat our very own Walter Mondale by 17 million votes, almost 20%. Walter won only one state. (Want to guess which one?) Now THAT’S an ass whoppin’! Sadly, that victory allowed Reagan to continue the pillage of the American middle class. (Someday I will explain the Laffer Curve - voodoo economics per George HW Bush) and started the hatred of government that has reached a pinnacle (so far) today.

- If Harris had received less than a million votes more across the 7 swing states, she would have beat Trump in the delightful and ever-nonsensical Electoral College while losing the popular vote. Oh, sweet justice – the Republicans would have gone batshit and immediately tried to get rid of the EC! A stinking, measly million votes over seven states.

- Less than half of Americans can name the three branches of the federal government. Perhaps the Founding Fathers were right; they did not want the average person voting for the president (thus added the EC.) This election confirmed their fears.

Hello, Hello, Hello - A toast to the two branches of government!

- Mexico just elected a woman president.  Other countries foolish enough to choose a woman to be the leader include the UK, which has had three, including Margaret Thatcher; Germany; Hindu India and Muslim Pakistan. Well, we have tried twice - both were defeated by the same worst candidate ever. Is there a message there?

Question: what is zero? That is the number of modern western countries that have elected a the convicted rapist to the highest office in the land. America truly is exceptional.

Quiz: which is more confounding: white women voting for a convicted rapist; vets for a guy who disrespects vets; evangelicals for one of the least Christian people ever; or Latino's for a guy who thinks they're mostly criminals. Tough choices, choose wisely.

Good News!

The president-elect has released some of his candidates for the cabinet. True to his word, Trump intentionally picked people who are not only not qualified but are actually the worst humans he could find – take that, libs! (The candidates also had to agree to have a large "T" branded on their buttocks.) You could also consider these picks a Rorschach test for Congress. If they actually confirm all these goofs it proves that the Republicans truly are MAGA zombies. (And we are in REALLY deep doo doo.) Besides, he can’t expect to execute Project 2025 with a bunch of competent people! On a positive note, even he can't make worse selections for the rest of the cabinet. (NOTE: per the paper today I stand corrected, he can make just as bad selections.)

Here’s a few examples of his "thought process" such as it is.

We have Matt Gaetz, an accused (and almost certainly guilty) pedophile for Attorney General. I’m certainly comfortable with him being in charge of the FBI and investigations of every democrat in office.

Gun toting Kristi Noem, as the head of Homeland Security. I feel safer already but migrants - and dogs - should run scared. She is an attractive sometimes-blond though so there is that.

Thankfully the Health and Human Services will get the full attention of the Brain Worm Kid, Bobby Kennedy Jr. He should be very helpful in giving good health advice. No fluoride or vaccines for you! God help us.

We even have a Minnesotan, Pete Hegseth, who is going to shape up the DoD and get rid of those "woke" generals. He’s a vet himself who apparently doesn’t like vets. (Thinks they use too many VA services.) More importantly, he’s a Fox News commentator so that's helpful. He's going to mold the military leadership into Trumps image. Oh boy. (I note he was investigated for sexual assault; luckily for him that shouldn't impact his nomination.) Makes me proud to be a fellow Minnesotan.

Now, for something totally different, how about a pleasant vision of the Republican-led future.

Imagine, if you will, it’s 2026. The mid-term elections are coming up. The democrats are still flagellating themselves trying to figure what in the hell went wrong in 2024! It couldn’t it be their platform, could it? Nah but it won’t matter because . . .

At the same time the Republicans are doing what they do best: fighting among themselves. Their usual goofs in the congress - Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan and Tommy Tuberville - are running amuck and refusing to govern the country. Give me chaos or give me death!

Republican fight over who pays for lunch results in restaurant fire

The Trump administration is fulfilling their promises to their cult member voters but unfortunately, the economy is in a recession. It's made worse by his billionaire Efficiency Czars,  Elon Musk and his buddy Vivek Ramaswamy, who are, indeed, making the government more “efficient” by cutting tens of thousands of government jobs. (Also getting rid of all those competent experts and replacing them with more ass kissers.) And, of course, inflation is flaring again due to Trump's beloved tariffs. Everyday we watch Stephen Miller’s buses filled with thousands of migrants heading to “camps” or on their way to be booted out of the country (which has cost hundreds of millions of dollars.) Luckily for top 10 percenters and businesses, however, the Republican congress stopped their bickering long enough to grant them more tax cuts. 

Patron Saint of Republicans

The Rev. Jim Jones

Can I interest you in another glass of Kool Aid?

Across this Republican Land we start to see people remembering again why we got rid of him and his crime syndicate family the first time. They are also growing tired of the midnight tweeting of a crazed old man and resistance is growing by most sane people to this "effing moron" (as described by Trump's first Sec. of State.) In fact, there is talk of invoking the 25th Amendment for the clearly failing 80 yr old president. (With VP Vance purring in the corner. Ruh roh.)

We can dream, can’t we? Anyway get out your popcorn and settle in for an interesting couple years.

Meanwhile, the democrats would do well to do some real soul searching and be prepared to offer solutions instead of their usual platitudes so we don't need to go through this again.

The sad irony is that many people like Mrs. DL and I, decidedly Never-Trump voters, will probably benefit from some of his policies. But that’s always the way it is, right? “Hey, I got a tax break and he’s not hurting me just “those other people.” Until it is you or your kids or your grandkids and the millions of unlucky "sinners" and "out of favor" folks who are the other people. Then it’s too late. (Check out Germany 1933 or read The Handmaids Tale.)

I don't know about you but a few bucks can't buy my soul.

So take heart, my friends, by this time in four years we will know if the country has come to its senses. If not, well, we'll know it's time to man the barricades!

Until then, I am glad I live in a blue state (with the greatest day of the year on the horizon . . .)

Lunatic Fringe Red Rider

Wasted Time The Eagles

A Tale of Two Posts

 Take heart . . .

I had prepared two different posts for after the election – and I really wish I was posting the other one.

 America Just had a Worse Day than This . . .

Like most non-Trump voters I am gob smacked by the results. Who knew there were so many people who were so angry and dissatisfied with their lives in our country that they were forced to vote for possibly the most unqualified candidate ever. As a twice-impeached felon who is clearly mentally diminished and who tried to overthrow his previous loss, he is certainly a "interesting" choice. Our two party system; ain't it grand?

Perhaps more problematic than his dark outlook on America, however, are the barnacles that are riding along with him. People like Elon Musk, Rob’t  Kennedy Jr. – and the Evangelicals? And, of course, his crackerjack VP, JD Vance.  

JD does offer one positive for Trump however. Never thought I’d say this but with him in the wings we REALLY must hope that Trump makes it to 2028 alive.

(And who knows, maybe he - or his corpse - can run again, 22^nd Amendment be damned!)

For now, let's all hustle through the five stages of grief and get to "acceptance" (as distasteful as that is) as soon as possible. 

As Bluto said in Animal House, "Was it over when the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor?” No and it ain’t over now! So take heart, we just have to survive the next four years; we did it before and we can do it again. 

As you may guess, I will have more to say but I need to process this fiasco a bit more myself. 

Hang in there, friends.

But for now . . .

Sad Eyes   Robert John

Deep Breath. .

 

"Good Times, Bad Times . . .

     

"You Know I've Had My Share"  

(Led Zeppelin 1969)

After a lot of ominous news and scary headlines - including some of my own somber assessments of our country - it occurred to me that it's impossible to live in a constant state of fear; some balance is necessary. Humans, by nature, are optimistic (albeit sometimes with zero reason!) so this is my effort to restore a little balance here. 

For example . . .

Every election is touted as the most important one ever and I suppose in their own way they are. This one is certainly different and consequential and is especially true with recent electoral upheaval. We went from one with two unpopular, geriatric candidates to one with the oldest candidate ever (clearly, also with advanced dementia) who happens to be a convicted felon and an insurrectionist. Oh yeah, he also had two (very poor) assassination attempts made against him - by Republicans. Worst of all, he's a guy who puts ketchup on his steak.  

Versus a woman of color who is alleged to be a "radical leftist", a poor campaigner whose late mother was  - gasp - a Hindu, her father a Bermudan (both highly educated) and she has a Jewish husband. OMG!

It has proven to be a very interesting - and exhausting - ride.

Perhaps a little history and perspective on political life in the USA might is in order.

There was a time when the earth was young - and so was I – that being able to vote was the first sign that you were no longer a kid- topped only by turning 21 (for obvious reasons in Minnesota ) You could really look forward to making your vote count for God, country, and apple pie. 

Now? Going by only 65% voter turnout, it's apparently too a great burden for many. (Although given that we mostly vote for the candidate we fear or dislike the least maybe that's not so bad.)

                             

My first presidential election was 1968, Humprey v Nixon. I was a junior in college and I honestly don’t remember who I voted for but probably Humphrey. He was a hometown boy and “everyone” knew Nixon was a crook. Also, because my parents were strong Democrats (according to them Roosevelt had saved their lives after all.) They were not, however, what you would call passionate. To them - and most people? - it was just an election; you wanted your guy (of course it was a guy) to win but if not? Shoulder shrug, another election is coming along in four years and not much will really change – and it usually didn’t.

So here we are - again - with people calling this one “the most important election in history.” Perhaps it is but let’s think about that.

Anthropocentric temporality. Fancy words that mean humans  think (probably because of our relatively short life spans) that everything that happens during our brief time on this spinning top is the most important ever, both good and bad. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise since we humans are, after all, the center of the universe – especially us baby boomers. Let me give you an example.

My dad was born in 1914, mom 1919. My dad grew up on a farm and plowed fields behind a horse then he drove Model T Fords and later Chrysler's; they lived through the Spanish flu; he and mom listened to Frank Sinatra on a new-fangled radio; had B&W tv,  later a color set; they lived through the Great Depression,  WWII and Korean war. They watched two of their kids go to southeast Asia for our fatuous “fight to defend democracy” there. They – well at least Mom - flew in jet airplanes and in 1969 they both watched a man walk on the moon live on TV. I would add that was when America did big things well.

Hey, who says we don't still do big things? We have Facebook and Instagram! 

Fast forward a generation: I grew up on rock and roll on AM/FM radio (now streaming); drove a ‘59 DeSoto;  got to use a push button, cordless phone; have Google and now a cell phone/computer thingy on which I can watch streaming TV. I too watched men walk on the moon in ’69 (on a color TV with a remote!) Oh yeah, and we still fly on jets (sadly no Jetson flying cars.) I and my cohort had our own wars and I watched my kid go off to fight in the in the fatuous 20 year “War on Terror” in the Middle East  And, of course, we lived through the Great Recession and pandemic, which sucks.

Speaking of big things - the magnificient '59 DeSoto!

All that said, over the last 110 years whose lives saw more change - at least more important changes - mom and dad or me? Yeah, I think mom and dad win by quite a bit. (And probably more than my kids so far too.)

My point in this long-winded disquisition is to hopefully make the case that change and difficulties confront every generation - some generations with more problems than others, of course - yet somehow we always manage to stumble through.

I do my share of bad mouthing us Americans for the many stupid things we say and do and rightly so - plus we do have a really screwed up political system. And yet . . . we are usually smarter than we look (or at least some of us are.)

Make no mistake, this is a very consequential election - the old candidate is frighteningly unfit (and unworthy) for the job. But remember what Winston Churchill said about us: "Americans will always do the right thing - only after they have tried everything else."

Deep breath - we did it in 2020 and I think we will do the right thing again this year.

9 Days until voting (If you haven't already)

(Lest there is any confusion on where I stand) 

 Some music to help you through . . .

I Can See Clearly Now     Johnny Nash

Getting Older - Not for Sissies!

It Ain't Over 'til it's Over! 

(Brought to you AI-free)

I have wanted to create a post with no politics, philosophy, economics or (alleged) humor for quite a while; just a post about the vagaries of life. Some time ago in my internet wanderings, I stumbled upon the question/answer social media site Quara. Among the many political arguments, er, discussions, I discovered responses by older Quara users to two different questions: one was for positive things about aging and the other the opposite. 

Bingo, I had my topic! 

Of course, it happens to everyone but if you’re like me it seems like one day it just sneaked up on me on little cat’s feet  – and pee'd on my shoes!  Anyway, it is something I, for better or worse, have first hand experience with (and strong opinions about.) 

As an aside, one of my daughters has a PhD in Gerontology (yahoo!) so Dear Leader gets lots of positive vibes and reinforcement in this whole aging thing - thanks only to her infinite patience with me. (Mostly it helps.)

In any event, I think you will find these answers to be pretty thoughtful with several positive jewels even in those responses that are decidedly on the less happy side of things. I also found that sometimes it was hard to tell which responses are which. 

With difficulty I've pruned it down to a total of 13. (It's a slightly longer read than usual but I think worth it.)

Just be prepared for honesty!

 

1. "You age on the outside but forget to age on the inside. It's like those movies where a young person and an old person change bodies. Imagine you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see a 70-year-old 'you' looking back. How would you feel? That's exactly like being old. The person inside is still you. You haven't changed your sense of self. You still expect the same things of yourself. It's just that the world sees you in a completely different way."

More socially aware. You don't live in the me-me-me bubble of youth anymore. You recognize that other people actually exist (barring certain perceptual disabilities). You are more considerate and aware of other peoples' requirements. Relationships change. You are more patient. You try to keep surpluses of things, just in case someone you care about would need them (food, money, umbrellas, manners, tissues...)

Robert L.

2. Nothing and no one can make anyone else happy. Happiness has to come from within … it’s like a birthright, but it’s our choice whether to accept it.

Can we —will we, allow ourselves to feel happy?

I’m 73 and I’ve found a lot of things to feel happy about. I have to be honest though. I’m much easier to please now than when I was younger and that makes a big difference. One reason is, expectations change as we age. We have less to stress and worry over. We aren’t trying to impress anyone, or climb never-ending rungs on a success ladder, or trying to keep up with the Joneses, Smiths, or anyone else.

We accept and even like who we are. We’ve come a long way, baby. The road was hard a lot of the time —want to see the bruises? But we did it. We made it and we can pass the baton to the next generation. Like a snowball rolling down a hill picking up speed and gathering more snow, we’ve picked up a lot of wisdom along the way. We’re here to help if they need it, happy to share what we’ve learned.

CJ Heck

3. "Do you want to know what really makes me angry about getting old? It's not being young anymore. This is the cruelest trick nature has up its sleeve, and you don't find out about it until you get there. At that point, it's too late to do anything about it. You have all the wisdom in the world, but no one wants to listen to an old person."

"You become invisible to every man, woman, and child on the planet. Younger people want us to go away because they don't want to look at their future. We thought we were always going to be young. We thought it was never going to happen to us, but it does. Sadly, it will happen to you too.

Cyndi P.

4. I've been advised to 'keep busy' (until I die?) and treated as if I'm out of the loop technically and socially. Expectations about my mental and physical ability have dropped with no reasonable cause. I find I'm justifying myself constantly (more push-ups in the gym, etc — which, I guess, isn't so bad)."

Seems I’ve traded sexism for age-ism. Feels the same to me. The fight never ends.

Now that sucks. But here’s three little words for anyone painting my age group one colour with a big fat brush:

Bring. It. On.

Bonnie L. Canadian

5. "Old lady arms. You know, that dimply, loose skin that just hangs around even though I'm thin. I also miss my natural red hair, but that's not a huge deal, and I don't mind a few wrinkles. But I absolutely HATE not feeling comfortable in sleeveless clothing!"

Vickie B Retired Program Manager

6. I am 92 with fair health. I love getting up in the morning when I want. I love spending half hour in the bathtub reading a magazine. If I want breakfast, I will make toast and coffee. Then I get into my car to go to a nearby store to walk slowly through the aisles. Sometimes I buy something I need, and I also stop to talk with many friends I have made.

So try to treasure every person you know; any time you see them, it may be the last!"

Lillian T 

7. There isn’t enough room here to list everything that sucks about getting old. It would be simpler to discuss what is good about it. First and foremost, added wisdom and experience in life. Plus, and this may be more true for men - you learn how to control yourself. The human being I am in my 50s is a million times better than the human being I was in my 20s.

Joy H

8. For me, real happiness in the life of a senior citizen may be brought by being accepted and loved unconditionally. Loved ones spoiling you on special occasions and being given warm hugs.

I have observed how society treats senior citizens. Other people become impatient and less tolerant when dealing with senior citizens. They’re not even assisted whether in the street or shop when they’re slow or struggling with something.

TLC is what I think will bring happiness in life of most senior citizens. I say most; because other senior citizens may outrightly draw boundaries because of past traumas and no amount of love given to them will bring happiness.

Roseline P

9. There is a whole spectrum of answers to this question. The “younger” old will have a different perspective from elderly contributors, but following some context, I'll provide my short list.

If you haven't already said goodbye to every relative from the previous generation, you will soon. You are now part of the oldest generation in your family. Along with those losses, unrecorded family history is gone forever. For instance: there are family events from the early 1960s that I have vague recollections of, but there is no way to get a concurrence regarding those memories. Grandma, Mom, Dad, and various aunts/uncles who may have been there are all gone.

Michael D

10. "Your memory fades. By noon, I can't recall what I had for breakfast!"

Jon P.

11. The first thing I think brings happiness to anyone is their health, not just the absence of sickness but those days when we just feel good. The young have many of those days and tend to take them for granted. But for the elderly, who often develop chronic pain as they age, a good day is one with little or no pain. Another welcome thing is a feeling of energy and “I feel like doing this today”, instead of the fatigue that often increases with age. Also, older folks tend to feel sick more often, whether that be nausea or dizziness or maybe the feeling when they get constipated and wish they could go. When anyone has a day when they just feel good and want to go and do, that is a sweet day, and especially so for the elderly who might not get a lot of days like that.

The second thing that brings real happiness is what others noted — people contacts and feeling loved. Everyone needs others to care about and feel cared for. There is a security and contentment in being important to someone who comes to spend time with you, to talk and share simple pleasures.

Bob T

12. "One of the most frustrating things about becoming an older woman is that you become almost 'invisible' to people, especially to most men. When we are young women (20s to 30s), men pay a great deal of attention to us because of how we look. Our level of sexual attractiveness indicates whether a man will look twice or dismiss us as uninteresting and not worth investing time with. As a young woman, it's hard to imagine that the day will come when men won't flirt with us anymore, or at least not like they used to."

"The thing everyone discovers is that we feel exactly like the same young woman on the inside; it's the outside of our body that reminds us that we aren't young anymore. It's looking in the mirror and finding yourself saying, 'When the hell did THAT happen?!" 

Rather than be the rule, it's the rare man who is interested in a woman that is his age (or plus) who is considered older and mature. But for those who do, I say thank you for looking at the real woman and not the facade of a perfect body and unwrinkled face.

India M, Author

13. "I'm almost 68 and amazed at how fast it happens. In the past year, I can't believe how much I have aged. And my body isn't as strong or resilient as it was just a year ago. The hardest part for me is looking in the mirror. Maybe it's vanity, but I miss seeing a youthful face. Now, wrinkles and spots have taken over. Not to be a total downer — my mind is in good shape. I'm still interested in many things, I like to learn, and I would love to travel. I have a long bucket list but I'm not sure this body could keep up. I was better at being young."

Louise P

Touching, sad, funny, insightful - that’s a lot of soul-baring which is one of the common themes here, being truthful. Health concerns, loss and remembrance. And of course, love and loneliness. Also, can't forget the change in our personal appearance – or response by others to that change - crops up a lot, most notably by a few women. Ah geez, our society . . .

Immortal

 Vanity crops up in certain guys too (Not me of course)

        

50 yrs later, definitely Mortal

      

        Yet no one escapes the ravages of time:                          that's a lot of forehead, Bunky - arrggh!           

          

                     My ship of old fools (two of whom have since gone to the big air base in the sky)                           Believe me, I know I'm lucky to have them.

 

Only friendship looks the same after all these years!

One of us denies dyeing their hair . . .

On the other hand, I also sense a comfortable acceptance of life by my peers on this latter part of our journey. Proving once again that one should never underestimate the will to live by we humans.

(Besides, the alternative to getting older is not very enticing.) 

I was surprised, however, that none of these folks identified music and musicians from their era as something important to them, it certainly is to me!  

I leave you with this positive vibe:

Many surveys have found that happiness and overall satisfaction in life almost double between the ages of 40 and 70. One theory is that when you’re young you are rather anxious for achieving personal and occupational goals and a sense of success in life but when your older, you realize that’s mostly all bullshit and just enjoy each day as it comes along. Friends, family and golf - enjoy the ride, folks, it’s only one you get!

39 Days to the election

NOTE: I promise a very positive post before the election. (No promises after that depending on the outcome.)

Old Man    Neil Young

100 Years    Five for Fighting

Cats in ther Cradle    Harry Chapin