They May Take My Country . . .

 But They Can’t Take My Sense of Humor! (well, yeah, I guess they can)

I've decided I won't vent my disbelief, dismay, disgruntlement and discouragement at the election results. Many of our fellow (sane) citizens are doing a fine job of that. Others can analyze the campaign mistakes and bleating about what could have been. Not me. I really can't think how to express my horror any better than others so I won't. I shall maintain the calm, objective demeanor that I am famous for and press quietly forward.

Well, okay, if you insist, just a few comments. Let me start with this:

Congress welcomes their new Republican Representatives

"I have followed this blond turd for over ten years and loathed his bombastic and idiotic statements (as well as his ridiculous hairstyle) for the same period so I was biased from the start. I thought he’d be out by last fall. I didn’t think he’d have any chance of winning the nomination. Finally, I thought that no matter what the polls said, when people went in to the booth there would be no way any cogent person, no matter how much they hated Hillary, could vote for a misogynistic, racist, sociopath who has no interest in facts or truth. I know, I know, Hillary was deeply unpopular candidate (more on the candidates latter) but she at least seemed sane. In a binary choice I guess I thought people would choose elitist over crazy. Boy, was I wrong!"

I wrote that almost exactly 8 years ago after the 2016 election: God, I hate being wrong. I really hate being wrong twice.

And this year is much worse. There is no sugar coating the election results, they’re bad. Not end of the world bad but at least "I want my mommy" bad.

Here are some interesting – if disturbing - facts about this election.

First, Everyone knew this guy is a lying, cheating crook who is also essentially worthless at any important task - we watched it for four years - and still roughly half the voters in America voted for him. (Technically, only 76 million out of 161 million registered voters - and 330 million people.) My brain hurts.

Second, this was NOT some landslide victory. Despite those claims of “a huge mandate” Trump earned slightly more votes than he did in 2020 (actually less when adjusted for population growth) and only 3 million more than Harris. Of course in a normal country it would have been 150 million for Harris to 10 for Trump - assuming his own family would vote for him. Wait - he couldn't BE the candidate in a normal country! Great sigh.

Third, Harris got about 8 MILLION votes fewer than Biden. (Which is both bad and damn curious.)

Fourth, about 11 million eligible voters inexplicably disappeared. Gone. Kaput. Sayonara.

Fifth, Trump essentially had about a 3 year campaign head start on Harris. Also, most of mainstream media was actually behind him (do you recall anyone calling for his withdrawing due to old age and senility?) and several friendly states’ election laws. Not to mention a population that apparently thought the price of eggs is more important than choosing a non-rapist as president. Still, essentially the same number of people voted for him as last time. (Well except for the many that died from covid and old age.)

Finally, if you’re looking for reasons for this fiasco, aside from any Democrat candidate/campaign shortcomings - which there were - I would start with all those white women, Latinos, black men, and vets who apparently voted for Trump. (Even a few Muslims against Isreal - talk about voting against your own interests!) Unfathomable. But mostly those 11 million (democrat?) slackers who didn’t show up. (And I still think there was something more - I hope - going on other than refusing to vote for a woman of color; just an opinion so don’t confuse me with the My Pillow guy!)

Nominee for National Voting Machine Inspector

In the end this election says a lot more about the voters than it does about the candidates - and not in a good way.

Nonetheless, Trump did win the popular vote – the first Republican in 20 years to do so. (The last being the previous worst president ever, "W".)

As Leo Tolstoy said, “Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.”

Fun facts:

- The last actual landslide was 1984 when St Ronnie Reagan beat our very own Walter Mondale by 17 million votes, almost 20%. Walter won only one state. (Want to guess which one?) Now THAT’S an ass whoppin’! Sadly, that victory allowed Reagan to continue the pillage of the American middle class. (Someday I will explain the Laffer Curve - voodoo economics per George HW Bush) and started the hatred of government that has reached a pinnacle (so far) today.

- If Harris had received less than a million votes more across the 7 swing states, she would have beat Trump in the delightful and ever-nonsensical Electoral College while losing the popular vote. Oh, sweet justice – the Republicans would have gone batshit and immediately tried to get rid of the EC! A stinking, measly million votes over seven states.

- Less than half of Americans can name the three branches of the federal government. Perhaps the Founding Fathers were right; they did not want the average person voting for the president (thus added the EC.) This election confirmed their fears.

Hello, Hello, Hello - A toast to the two branches of government!

- Mexico just elected a woman president.  Other countries foolish enough to choose a woman to be the leader include the UK, which has had three, including Margaret Thatcher; Germany; Hindu India and Muslim Pakistan. Well, we have tried twice - both were defeated by the same worst candidate ever. Is there a message there?

Question: what is zero? That is the number of modern western countries that have elected a the convicted rapist to the highest office in the land. America truly is exceptional.

Quiz: which is more confounding: white women voting for a convicted rapist; vets for a guy who disrespects vets; evangelicals for one of the least Christian people ever; or Latino's for a guy who thinks they're mostly criminals. Tough choices, choose wisely.

Good News!

The president-elect has released some of his candidates for the cabinet. True to his word, Trump intentionally picked people who are not only not qualified but are actually the worst humans he could find – take that, libs! (The candidates also had to agree to have a large "T" branded on their buttocks.) You could also consider these picks a Rorschach test for Congress. If they actually confirm all these goofs it proves that the Republicans truly are MAGA zombies. (And we are in REALLY deep doo doo.) Besides, he can’t expect to execute Project 2025 with a bunch of competent people! On a positive note, even he can't make worse selections for the rest of the cabinet. (NOTE: per the paper today I stand corrected, he can make just as bad selections.)

Here’s a few examples of his "thought process" such as it is.

We have Matt Gaetz, an accused (and almost certainly guilty) pedophile for Attorney General. I’m certainly comfortable with him being in charge of the FBI and investigations of every democrat in office.

Gun toting Kristi Noem, as the head of Homeland Security. I feel safer already but migrants - and dogs - should run scared. She is an attractive sometimes-blond though so there is that.

Thankfully the Health and Human Services will get the full attention of the Brain Worm Kid, Bobby Kennedy Jr. He should be very helpful in giving good health advice. No fluoride or vaccines for you! God help us.

We even have a Minnesotan, Pete Hegseth, who is going to shape up the DoD and get rid of those "woke" generals. He’s a vet himself who apparently doesn’t like vets. (Thinks they use too many VA services.) More importantly, he’s a Fox News commentator so that's helpful. He's going to mold the military leadership into Trumps image. Oh boy. (I note he was investigated for sexual assault; luckily for him that shouldn't impact his nomination.) Makes me proud to be a fellow Minnesotan.

Now, for something totally different, how about a pleasant vision of the Republican-led future.

Imagine, if you will, it’s 2026. The mid-term elections are coming up. The democrats are still flagellating themselves trying to figure what in the hell went wrong in 2024! It couldn’t it be their platform, could it? Nah but it won’t matter because . . .

At the same time the Republicans are doing what they do best: fighting among themselves. Their usual goofs in the congress - Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan and Tommy Tuberville - are running amuck and refusing to govern the country. Give me chaos or give me death!

Republican fight over who pays for lunch results in restaurant fire

The Trump administration is fulfilling their promises to their cult member voters but unfortunately, the economy is in a recession. It's made worse by his billionaire Efficiency Czars,  Elon Musk and his buddy Vivek Ramaswamy, who are, indeed, making the government more “efficient” by cutting tens of thousands of government jobs. (Also getting rid of all those competent experts and replacing them with more ass kissers.) And, of course, inflation is flaring again due to Trump's beloved tariffs. Everyday we watch Stephen Miller’s buses filled with thousands of migrants heading to “camps” or on their way to be booted out of the country (which has cost hundreds of millions of dollars.) Luckily for top 10 percenters and businesses, however, the Republican congress stopped their bickering long enough to grant them more tax cuts. 

Patron Saint of Republicans

The Rev. Jim Jones

Can I interest you in another glass of Kool Aid?

Across this Republican Land we start to see people remembering again why we got rid of him and his crime syndicate family the first time. They are also growing tired of the midnight tweeting of a crazed old man and resistance is growing by most sane people to this "effing moron" (as described by Trump's first Sec. of State.) In fact, there is talk of invoking the 25th Amendment for the clearly failing 80 yr old president. (With VP Vance purring in the corner. Ruh roh.)

We can dream, can’t we? Anyway get out your popcorn and settle in for an interesting couple years.

Meanwhile, the democrats would do well to do some real soul searching and be prepared to offer solutions instead of their usual platitudes so we don't need to go through this again.

The sad irony is that many people like Mrs. DL and I, decidedly Never-Trump voters, will probably benefit from some of his policies. But that’s always the way it is, right? “Hey, I got a tax break and he’s not hurting me just “those other people.” Until it is you or your kids or your grandkids and the millions of unlucky "sinners" and "out of favor" folks who are the other people. Then it’s too late. (Check out Germany 1933 or read The Handmaids Tale.)

I don't know about you but a few bucks can't buy my soul.

So take heart, my friends, by this time in four years we will know if the country has come to its senses. If not, well, we'll know it's time to man the barricades!

Until then, I am glad I live in a blue state (with the greatest day of the year on the horizon . . .)

Lunatic Fringe Red Rider

Wasted Time The Eagles