"Hurray, Hurray the 1st of May . . .
Outdoor Kissing is Here Today!"
“In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love”
Locksley Hall Alfred, Lord Tennyson
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| A tisket, a tasket |
A special Mayday edition - who knew that May was so full of fun and interesting factoids.
May 1, 1952 – Mr. Potato Head is introduced. (Not much later Mrs. Potato Head was created from one of his "eyes".)
May 3, 1978 – Digital Equipment Corporation sends the first bulk unsolicited commercial emails… spam is born! (The CEO was tried and convicted posthumously for his crimes against humanity.)
May 4, 1964 – Soap operas “Another World” and “As the World Turns” premiere. (Coincidently, Valium was created the year before so now with “mother’s little helper” and soap operas, millions of housewives could get through the day in the 60’s.)
May 4, 1970 (The year I graduated from the Harvard of the North - much to everyone's dismay.) At Kent State University, four students were killed by National Guardsmen who opened fire on a crowd of 1,000 students protesting President Richard Nixon's decision to invade Cambodia. (Song “Ohio” written by Neil Young and recorded by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young within a few days: “Tin soldiers and Nixon's comin' We're finally on our own This summer I hear the drummin' Four dead in Ohio. . .”)
May 3, 1978 – Digital Equipment Corporation sends the first bulk unsolicited commercial emails… spam is born! (The CEO was tried and convicted posthumously for his crimes against humanity.)
May 4, 1964 – Soap operas “Another World” and “As the World Turns” premiere. (Coincidently, Valium was created the year before so now with “mother’s little helper” and soap operas, millions of housewives could get through the day in the 60’s.)
May 4, 1970 (The year I graduated from the Harvard of the North - much to everyone's dismay.) At Kent State University, four students were killed by National Guardsmen who opened fire on a crowd of 1,000 students protesting President Richard Nixon's decision to invade Cambodia. (Song “Ohio” written by Neil Young and recorded by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young within a few days: “Tin soldiers and Nixon's comin' We're finally on our own This summer I hear the drummin' Four dead in Ohio. . .”)
May 5, 1260 – Kublai Khan, the grandson of Genghis Khan, becomes ruler of the Mongol Empire.
(Hopes that he would be nicer than his grandpa were soon dashed when he proceeded to slaughter 10% of all people alive then.They say he had a gentle laugh though.)
May 6, 1937 - The German airship Hindenburg burst into flames as it neared the mooring mast at Lakehurst, New Jersey. 36 of the 97 passengers and crew were killed. A commentator famously exclaimed, "Oh, the humanity!" (On a positive note, 32 years later the picture of the incident made a great album cover for the rock group Led Zeppelin.)
May 7, 1992 - The 27th Amendment to the US Consitution was ratified, prohibiting Congress from giving itself pay raises. (Congress apparently misunderstood and thought it meant they didn't actually have to do anything anymore either.)
Birthday - Psychoanalysis founder Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) was born in Freiberg, Moravia. (First doctor to confirm what every guy knows from birth - pretty much everything has something to do with sex.)
May 8, 1794 – The U.S. Post Office is established. (Almost immediately Republicans wanted to privatize it.)
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| What, me worry? |
May 8, 1952 – Mad Magazine hits the news stands. (Almost immediately neither Republicans nor Democrats over age of 12 understand it.)
May 9, 1960 – The Birth control pill is approved by the FDA. (Almost immediately Republicans wanted to ban them.)
May 9, 1862 - During the American Civil War, General David Hunter, Union commander, issued orders freeing the slaves in South Carolina, Florida and Georgia. He acted without approval of congress or the president so the orders were countermanded and he was fired by President Lincoln ten days later. (“Sorry, slaves, just kidding so let’s get back to work.” His heart was in the right place though, he got another shot at being a general and 4 months later Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation. He still sucked at being a general though.)
May 9, 1862 - During the American Civil War, General David Hunter, Union commander, issued orders freeing the slaves in South Carolina, Florida and Georgia. He acted without approval of congress or the president so the orders were countermanded and he was fired by President Lincoln ten days later. (“Sorry, slaves, just kidding so let’s get back to work.” His heart was in the right place though, he got another shot at being a general and 4 months later Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation. He still sucked at being a general though.)
May 11, 1916 -Einstein presents his Theory of General Relativity. (It’s very complex so I'll mansplain: Basically, it says generally relatives stick together rather they want to or not. Or something like that.)
May 11, 1969 - During the Vietnam War, the Battle of "Hamburger Hill" began. While attempting to seize the Dong Ap Bia Mountain, U.S. troops repeatedly scaled the hill over a 10-day period and engaged in bloody hand-to-hand combat with the North Vietnamese. Shortly after they secured it, American military brass decided to abandon it. The North Vietnamese immediately retook it. (This apparently became a key US military strategy for most of our wars since then.)
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| Yours for only $2399! (Gold sink sold seperately) |
May 12, 1792 – The flush toilet is patented. (First manufactured by Englishman Thomas Crapper in late 1800's - no snickering!)
May 13, 1767 – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s first opera “Apollo et Hyacinthus” premieres in Salzburg. He wrote it when he was 11 years old. (Big deal, I put playing cards on my bike wheels with clothes pins to make a sound like a car engine all by myself when I was 11.)
May 14, 1686 Birthday - German physicist Gabriel Fahrenheit (1686-1736) was born in Danzig, Germany. (I know that name from some place! Didn't he change it to Celsius soon after inventing the thermometer or something?)
May 16, 1862 – Just 7 days after Gen. Hunter was fired, another Union General Benjamin Butler, military governor of New Orleans, issued his "Woman Order." Any Southern woman showing disrespect for Union soldiers or the U.S. would be regarded as a woman of the town i.e. prostitute. This set the stage for his dismissal as military governor. (Like Hunter, he was given another shot at general. Apparently the women of New Orleans had the last laugh because Butler was fired again a couple years later. With generals like this, how did the north win the war?! Oh yeah, we had Grant.)
May 13, 1767 – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s first opera “Apollo et Hyacinthus” premieres in Salzburg. He wrote it when he was 11 years old. (Big deal, I put playing cards on my bike wheels with clothes pins to make a sound like a car engine all by myself when I was 11.)
May 14, 1686 Birthday - German physicist Gabriel Fahrenheit (1686-1736) was born in Danzig, Germany. (I know that name from some place! Didn't he change it to Celsius soon after inventing the thermometer or something?)
May 16, 1862 – Just 7 days after Gen. Hunter was fired, another Union General Benjamin Butler, military governor of New Orleans, issued his "Woman Order." Any Southern woman showing disrespect for Union soldiers or the U.S. would be regarded as a woman of the town i.e. prostitute. This set the stage for his dismissal as military governor. (Like Hunter, he was given another shot at general. Apparently the women of New Orleans had the last laugh because Butler was fired again a couple years later. With generals like this, how did the north win the war?! Oh yeah, we had Grant.)
May 17, 1792 - Two dozen merchants and brokers established the New York Stock Exchange. (Maybe they would have been surprised to learn that in the 1930's their creation would cause people to heave themselves out of skyscrapers. Or maybe not.)
May 18, 1860 – The Republican party nominates Abraham Lincoln for president.
(It is true that he was the last great Republican president although Teddy and Ike were okay too.)
May 20, 1927 - Charles Lindbergh, a 25-year-old aviator, took off from Roosevelt Field, Long Island, in the Spirit of St. Louis. Thirty-three hours later - and 3,600 nonstop miles - he landed in Paris, earning the nickname "Lucky Lindy" and an instant worldwide hero. (Later, it was reported that he said he would never fly economy again.)
May 22, 1931 – Canned rattlesnake meat goes on sale in Florida. (It was sold as chicken.)
Birthday - German composer Richard Wagner (1813-1883) was born in Leipzig, Germany. (Besides Nazi's, his music was also a boon for full figured female singers.)
Birthday - Sherlock Holmes creator Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930) was born at Edinburgh, Scotland. (It is said that he had some difficulty in elementary school - and Watson never let him forget it.)
May 23
Birthday - Arabella Mansfield (1846-1911) was born near Burlington, Iowa (as Belle Aurelia Babb). She was certified in 1869 as an attorney and admitted to the Iowa bar and first female lawyer in the US. (Who knew that at one time Iowa was actually pretty progressive. They will have none of that nonsense today, however, under current lady Governor Kim Reynolds. On the other hand, she hasn't shot her dog yet so there is that.)
May 23
Birthday - Arabella Mansfield (1846-1911) was born near Burlington, Iowa (as Belle Aurelia Babb). She was certified in 1869 as an attorney and admitted to the Iowa bar and first female lawyer in the US. (Who knew that at one time Iowa was actually pretty progressive. They will have none of that nonsense today, however, under current lady Governor Kim Reynolds. On the other hand, she hasn't shot her dog yet so there is that.)
May 24, 1775 – John Hancock is unanimously elected president of the Continental Congress. (“Thanks, John, thanks a lot. Now all the rest of us have to squeeze our signatures in around the edge.”)
May 25, 2020 - George Floyd, an African American man, died during an arrest by Minneapolis police officers, including Derek Chauvin, who knelt on his neck for over nine minutes, despite Floyd's repeated pleas that he could not breathe. (Absolutely nothing funny about this for anyone.)
May 26, 1805 – Lewis and Clark are the first to see the Rocky Mountains. (Seriously? No humans had seen the mountains before? Really? We Americans ARE exceptional!)
May 27, 1647 – Achsah Young is the first woman to be executed as a witch in Massachusetts. (Notice word, first.)
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| A proud day in Salem! |
(Reportedly, her last words were “Damn it! I thought they asked if I was bewitching and of course I said yes.")
May 27, 1919 – The pop-up toaster is patented. (Unfortunately, sliced bread wasn't invented until 9 years later.)
May 29, 1787 - At the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia the Virginia Plan was proposed calling for a new government consisting of a legislature with two houses, an executive chosen by the legislature and a judicial branch. (One evening they all got drunk at the tavern and thought the goofy Electoral College idea would be a great practical joke to play on the common folk. Unfortunately, due to a hangover, they forgot to take it out of the final draft so we are stuck with it today.)
Birthday - American revolutionary leader Patrick Henry (1736-1799) was born in Studley, Virginia. He is best remembered for his speech in 1775 declaring: "I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death." (There is no record of what Virginia's thousands of slaves thought about that.)
May 31, 1990 – Seinfeld television comedy show premieres. (Like this blog, it was often about nothing.)
May 31, 2000 – The television reality show “Survivor” premieres. (Also about nothing.)
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Seinfeld, among the greatest TV shows ever, was on for 10 seasons. Survivor, among the most inane TV shows ever, recently started its 25th year and 46th season. Tells you all you need to know about Americans’ taste in entertainment.
And that concludes our lesson for today, you're welcome for all this knowledge.
In closing . . .
“In the Spring an old man’s fancy darkly turns to thoughts of making it to autumn.” Anonymous
Have a great May nonetheless with some music!
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