How do you feel about night? I mean
nights in general; you know when you are supposed to be sleeping. Personally I’m
really starting to hate it. Night, I mean. I don’t like the way it steals a
part of the day. I don’t like how quiet it is. I don’t like how long it lasts
(no matter how short). Most of all, I don’t like how it changes my outlook on
damn near everything; night is just mean.
I’m sure some of this is a function of age. It is the rare night that I sleep all the way through to the morning (whenever that is) and so say most of my friends. Yet there is something different to my dislike. I find myself waking up almost every hour to check the clock. I am convinced that it is because I want to reassure myself that it is actually passing by and sunrise really will come. Or perhaps this too is actually related to age - and to the unsettled thoughts that come with it. For example, the slowly closing door to the future that appears to us as we get older.
When you are younger there is always more time to do the great things that you are destined to do. Night time and sleep are just that brief respite you need to recharge in order to go out the next day and defeat the world (sleep like a baby?) But when you get older maybe it becomes obvious that the world is actually up on you in points and worse yet, you are unlikely to overcome that lead. Now the night becomes that awful, quiet place when the world is allowed to mock you and tease you and belittle you for how small your life’s accomplishments are compared to the dreams of your youth. And you’re tired in the morning to boot.
So perhaps all of this mumbo jumbo is really nothing more that the little matter of mortality. The saying “I can sleep when I’m dead” is kind of cute and funny when you’re young. It takes on a whole different meaning as you get a little closer to sleep’s Big Brother.
Pass the Advil PM!
I’m sure some of this is a function of age. It is the rare night that I sleep all the way through to the morning (whenever that is) and so say most of my friends. Yet there is something different to my dislike. I find myself waking up almost every hour to check the clock. I am convinced that it is because I want to reassure myself that it is actually passing by and sunrise really will come. Or perhaps this too is actually related to age - and to the unsettled thoughts that come with it. For example, the slowly closing door to the future that appears to us as we get older.
When you are younger there is always more time to do the great things that you are destined to do. Night time and sleep are just that brief respite you need to recharge in order to go out the next day and defeat the world (sleep like a baby?) But when you get older maybe it becomes obvious that the world is actually up on you in points and worse yet, you are unlikely to overcome that lead. Now the night becomes that awful, quiet place when the world is allowed to mock you and tease you and belittle you for how small your life’s accomplishments are compared to the dreams of your youth. And you’re tired in the morning to boot.
So perhaps all of this mumbo jumbo is really nothing more that the little matter of mortality. The saying “I can sleep when I’m dead” is kind of cute and funny when you’re young. It takes on a whole different meaning as you get a little closer to sleep’s Big Brother.
Pass the Advil PM!
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